I have been following along on babybumps, but I was very afraid to announce until I knew for certain that this was a sticky baby and that he or she was healthy. My story:
My husband and I got married young and immediately started trying for a baby. I had a trust fund left to me by my uncle as a nice nest egg and my husband made good money in the tech field so we were financially set. We wanted a big family. We tried and tried. Excitement turned to worry, turned to stress, turned to dismay, disappointment, despair and grief. We went through 10 years of active TTC, including rounds of IUI, IVF, and others... we spent what would be considered an obscene amount of money trying to get pregnant.
After 10 years of very active trying,
we gave up and decided that we would be child free and just have a different kind of life. We grieved and then moved on. Bonus: No need for contraception! Everyone said we should adopt, but for a number of personal reasons we just knew that wasn't the right path for us. So instead we traveled, we had hobbies, we are foodies and ate out a lot, we doted on our nieces, nephews, & god children. We loved each other like crazy through life's up and downs --- and that was enough.
Everything was going fine until I started to feel unwell. Well, I'd been feeling very ill for a few weeks. Swollen everything, sore boobs, nausea, extreme fatigue. I thought I had cancer to tell you the truth.
So I went to the doctor and we ran some tests. When she called me the next day she asked me if I was sitting down. I blurted, "Oh my god, it's cancer isn't it?" She laughed and said congratulations that I was pregnant. I told her that simply wasn't possible because I was infertile!
I didn't tell my husband yet because he was away on business and I went to see the OB/GYN the very next day for an ultra sound and sure enough.. I was 12 weeks pregnant!!! I went from infertile to hearing my baby's heartbeat in a matter of 24 hours. I went out to my car and cried for an hour looking at this grainy black and white peanut shaped thing. A baby. A baby was growing inside me. It was so surreal that I felt.. outside myself. I felt like I was in a movie.. I felt removed from myself and I think I actually disassociated for a few hours. It was just so much for my brain to handle. HOLY SHITBALLS, A BABY!!! I drove down to the beach and took a long walk and contemplated life, the universe and everything. Then I got my toes wet and did a happy baby dance and shouted WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO to the ocean and the little shore birds near me who were my only audience.
Funny thing: even though I've now had blood test and ultra sound confirmation, I still went to the drug store to buy a pregnancy test. I just had to know what that felt like.. had to know what peeing on a stick and getting a positive result felt like because I'd peed on a thousand sticks over the course of my life time with nothing but negatives. Want to know what it feels like? It feels like the best thing in the world is what it feels like.
My husband is over the moon and so here we are, two fuddy duddy old people getting ready to have a baby! We are at 22+3, and he or she is very healthy! 10 fingers and toes, all the correct chromosomes, a beautiful, healthy heart.
We kept it 100% a secret: only just announced this weekend to family and friends. I wanted to... be sure.. you know? After all we went through, I just wanted to be sure. I wanted to grieve in private if things did not go well. But things are looking perfect. I've had a perfectly healthy pregnancy. Just the normal small aches, a nasty bout of constipation, but nothing out of the ordinary.
I'm happier than I've been in my whole life. I cannot fathom what good I've done to deserve a miracle baby at my age after so many years of trying. Getting pregnant at 44.5 years is tough enough. But to have it happen randomly after so many years of infertility is just a god damn miracle. So many stars had to align! I feel so lucky. I feel like I won a lottery!
Someone pinch me! I'm going to be a mother!
Next day: Ok, wow! Thank you everyone for the overwhelming onslaught of well wishes, support, love and even reddit gold which is just amazing. I'm so grateful and thankful to all of you!
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